You’ve heard of diet-obsessed almond moms, but what’s the opposite of that? According to TikTok, it’s a “gummy bear mom” — and apparently, I’m one of them. If you’re wondering what that looks like, well, we have all the snacks. We aren’t scared to serve a little bit of sugar alongside healthy food. And we aren’t stressed over a kid trying to buy a candy bar at the checkout occasionally.

“Gummy bear moms” are a trend taking off on TikTok, and honestly, I’m glad. I feel like it takes the pressure off to find a bit more balance, rather than making sure every single item is “clean” eating, per the “almond moms.” This type of parenting normalizes all types of foods and relishes playing the host with a stocked pantry.

I credit my gravitation toward being a gummy bear mom to a split childhood due to divorce. At one parent’s house, there were few snacks aside from those huge, too-crunchy pretzels and some crusty marshmallows. At the other parent’s house, though we didn’t have a ton of money, we had cereals my friends liked, Oreos, and lots of fruits and veggies around. I noticed the differences at a young age and that at the less snacky house, I wanted snacks more… likely because I couldn’t have them.

All this has formed my own parenting philosophies for my kids. Some of them will choose organic peppers, cucumbers, and apples as snacks. Others I have to pry away from the Hot Cheetos aisle with some serious effort. So, as I raise my five kids under 9, I’m constantly calibrating my gummy vs. almond mom tendencies. Here’s what that means for our family, and what experts say about the trend, too.

My kids are obsessed with crunchy veggies.

One of my five kids has sensory issues that extend to eating, and the more crunch, the better. So, we make it a mission to find every crunchy vegetable in the store. This means the “kid drawer” of the fridge has a plethora of grabbable cucumbers, peppers, carrots, celery, and others.

They are also chip connoisseurs.

And their favorite chips are full of Red Dye 40… oh well! Sometimes, we buy them anyway because I don’t want them going off to friends’ houses, raiding their pantries constantly in search of “Real Chips” — but sometimes, we buy “healthier” chips or make them.

Chips are fun. I get it. So are some other foods that aren’t super healthy. Yet sometimes, at our house, food is for fun too. “Fun foods, like sprinkles on a donut, add enjoyment and something extra but aren’t the main deal. You could even let them pick their fun foods and place them in their own snack bin that they can go into whenever they want for the week,” says registered dietician Amanda Sauceda.

It’s about recognizing how your body really feels.

Even kids can recognize when they’ve had too much junk. I use travel — when fast food is sometimes the only option — to help them notice how they feel a little different. Maybe a bit grouchier, or more tired. It has led to some good convos about how fast food isn’t bad; it just doesn’t always make you feel as good or have enough energy.

Experts recommend allowing all food in moderation to help teach self-regulation. They also share that education around portion size can help kids realize what’s a reasonable amount of food and what’s likely to make them feel not so great.

I focus on adding, not taking away.

Ever been in a fight with a threenager? I have. And they sure aren’t going to let up until you let them eat the damn Skittles. But, if you add a food, it’s a much easier battle. Eating a Skittle and a piece of chicken has saved many a feisty mealtime.

“Emphasize foods you want to add to their diet versus foods you don’t want them to eat. By taking this approach, you’re setting your kids up for a more positive relationship with food. A big thing that can be helpful is fostering their natural curiosity. You can do this by letting them pick which fruit or veggie they want for the week, letting them help in the kitchen, even starting a container garden,” says Sauceda.

My kids are learning that candy isn’t “good” or “bad.”

Jennifer Anderson, the registered dietitian behind the popular “Kids Eat in Color” brand that educates parents about feeding our kids, gives explicit examples on how to talk to kids, by age, about “good” versus “bad” food… starting with the fact that it isn’t good or bad. She even differentiates by philosophy so that parents can decide if they are only going to share the positive facts of food, such as “Candy is fun and gives us quick energy,” or a longer example with more pros and cons. It took me a long time to learn how receptive kids are to factual education around nutrition without judgment.

We have learned the art of pairing.

My mom mastered the art of pairing with what we called “Apple, Carrot, Surprise.” This laid the framework for my own childhood for having three food groups in a snack or meal, and it’s something I’m passing on to my kids that even the toddlers can make themselves. So, when they make themselves breakfast, they’ll say things like, “Look, Mom, I got a fruit, vegetable, and a protein.”

Want some chocolate? Sure, get a peanut butter toast with it. Cereal? Yes, with milk and fruit. Want a handful of gummy bears? Grab the almonds, too (get it?!).